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What If Rihanna Was A Man and Chris Brown Was A Cop? The Black Community’s Hypocrisy in Response to Police Brutality Versus Domestic Violence
by Jennifer McClune

Demico Boothe
Good day Facebook folks. I am an author, public intellectual and speaker. Simply put, my mission in life is to fully educate myself on the truths of human existence with heavy emphasis on Black African & European history and teach it to my people. —– Demico Boothe

SUBJECT LINE: You are truly stupid: EMAIL: Tell all of that crap to Steve McNair stupid bitch —- Demico Boothe
What if Rihanna was a black man and Chris Brown was a white cop?
What if the pictures released to the media were of an unarmed black suspect who was beaten by a white cop, and not those of a young black female pop star who was assaulted by her young, good-looking, celebrity boyfriend?
What if instead of bite marks (often used by rapists as a form of sexual aggression and control), it was revealed that the cop used his baton in the black male suspect’s rectum?
Would there still be two sides to that story?
Even with a picture of the trauma to his face and to his body?
Would we, as black people, still be asking what this man did to provoke the cop?
Somehow I doubt it.
No one has made the connection between intimate partner violence and police brutality. But black people’s glaringly different response to both clearly illustrates how deeply entrenched our community is with sexism.
But it occurred to me to switch the gender, race and authority roles in the scenario with Chris Brown and Rihanna after my most recent altercation with a misogynistic “brother” on Facebook.
The man’s name is Demico Booth. He is an ex-felon turned writer who describes himself on his Myspace page as a “Public Intellectual, Author, Speaker, True Soldier.” His work explores the over-incarceration of black men in the U.S. Criminal Justice System.
According to an entry on Boothe on Wikipedia, he spent nearly 13 years in federal prison during which time he wrote his first book called “Why Are So Many Black Men In Prison?”
Boothe and I had only been friends on Facebook for little more than a week when I happened to take a closer look at his Facebook page. That’s when I saw this Status Update:
Question relating to the Chris Brown & Rihanna situation: On “Cheaters”, why is it okay and seen as ‘funny’ when women, who catch their men cheating, hit them, spit on them, burn their clothes etc., but if a man even does a fraction of that to a woman he is dogged and vilified??
Yes Chris Brown was definitely wrong, but why is it no one (especially Oprah and Tyra) ever talks about the abuse that women put onto men? God knows it is all too prevalent; there is even a term for one aspect of it: Baby-Mama Drama!!!! Everyone knows that women can play some very mean games. I guess it was okay for Rihanna to hit him and snatch the car wheel and all of that madness. I see it all the time on “Cheaters” where when women catch their man cheating they hit them and spit on them and burn their clothes up etc. etc. etc. and folks just laugh about it but if a MAN does even a percentage of that he is demonized and vilified. I tell you what: Tell Rihanna to do what she did to Chris Brown in that car to a police officer and see if she doesn’t have to go to the hospital afterwards. And it would be justified in the law’s eyes. —– Demico Boothe
One must first keep in mind that when black men talk about oppression they are deliberately excluding sexism and patriarchy, even though half of all black folks are women — which means that half of all black folks are victims of sexism and patriarchy.
Another thing to keep in mind is that like all oppressors, black men apply rules to the ones they oppress that they’d never apply to themselves — or think they should be expected to adhere to if they were talking about something they actually care about, like racism against black men.
This explains why Boothe, a black man who rails against white supremacy and the capitalist prison industrial complex, can get away with saying something like:
I absolutely hate “political correctness” because all too many times it involves the denial of commonsense and agenda pushing.
Even though this sounds like it could be coming out of the mouth of a white male right-wing pundit, since he’s taking about women “getting away with things,” in the same way that whites talk about blacks “getting away with things,” it makes perfect sense coming from a black male who benefits mightily from male privilege!
The following is the response I posted to Demico Boothe’s status update. After I posted it I stated that was then going to removed him as a Facebook friend because I have zero tolerance for apologists for violence against women. He then sent me a threatening email on Facebook, the screenshot of which I’ve included with this article that calls me “stupid bitch.”
SUBJECT LINE: You are truly stupid: EMAIL: Tell all of that crap to Steve McNair stupid bitch —- Demico Boothe
This is what I posted to his Status Update that resulted in such a horribly sexist and hostile response by email to me on Facebook:
To the men, and some women (sisterhood is powerful! Please note sarcasm!), in this discussion who are trying to obscure the reality of violence against women in this culture, for which there is NO EQUAL in violence towards men (except maybe men killing other men) here are THE FACTS:
The leading cause of death for African American women ages 15 to 45 is intimate partner homicide. That means that what Chris Brown did can, and often does, lead to MURDER. That means black men like Chris Brown (because black women ARE STILL THE LEAST LIKELY to date outside of our race) are killing young black women in such high numbers that it beats out accidents and every illness you can imagine.
Demico Booth wrote: “Everyone knows that women can play some very mean games.”
Why are you stereotyping “women”? What if a white person said: “Everyone knows that BLACK PEOPLE can play some very mean games.” How RACIST would that sound? Racist stereotypes are what cops use to justify the use “excessive force” against black men, because “Everyone knows that BLACK PEOPLE can play some very mean games.” So why is it ok for you to make sexist statements stereotyping women? Black people are WOMEN TOO! And Demico, the snide sexist comments you’ve made throughout this discussion, suggesting that women are to blame for provoking men to beat them, just exposes that the question you’ve posed in your status regarding Chris Brown and Rihanna is based on your misogynistic and terrifying views about women!
Demico Booth wrote: “I guess it was okay for Rihanna to hit him and snatch the car wheel and all of that madness. …. but if a MAN does even a percentage of that he is demonized and vilified.”
We all saw the photos of Rihanna after Chris brown beat her. But you still want to twist this into a “fight,” when it was clearly a beat down of a woman by a man?
DEMONIZED AND VILIFIED? CHRIS BROWN DIDN’T SERVE A DAY IN JAIL! He’s already back on the radio and on tour! Michael Vick got more time for beating dogs than Brown did for beating a BLACK WOMAN LIKE A DOG!
Demico, even though you are trying to make this society appear to be run by and for women, the REALITY that you delusional and sexist men’s rights activists try to deny is that men’s violence against women is THE PROBLEM — and no, violence against women is not taken seriously. And men with your views (and unfortunately the women who uphold those sick views too), are the reason why so many black women are being maimed and murdered!
Demico wrote: “And we are not just talking about women who use words; Rihanna did more than just use words from what I understand of the situation.”
I’m not sure how men like you sleep at night, but I’m sure it’s just fine because membership in patriarchy does come with its privileges. One being that you can twist anything a woman does, even after seeing pictures of her BEATEN face, into an opportunity to blame the victim and people will actually consider your views and not call them what they are — dangerous and sexist!
Did you even come from a woman? Because your hatred of women is so glaring! Chris Brown bit her face! I repeat: CHRIS BROWN BIT HER FACE LIKE A RABID DOG! Demico, any man who’d try to use what he did to Rihanna as an example of women hitting men, is sicker than Brown himself!
When I hear men like you make these kinds of declarations excusing men by blaming some aspect of their violence towards women on those women, I wonder if you’ve ever even spent time inside a woman or if you sprang directly from your father’s nut sack! Real talk!
Demico wrote: “Cuzzo, women kill men every day too. I personally have two friends that were killed by women who were controlling.”
Exceptions ARE NOT THE RULE! And even sick men’s rights activists like yourself can’t twist reality and make it so!
Demico, you’re not fooling me with this status update posed as an “innocent” question, because your obvious agenda here is to promote the sick, twisted, false and dangerous idea that men, not women, are the true victims of violence in most intimate relationships. Everything you’ve posted has been riddled with comments that just expose your misogyny (i.e. hatred and bitterness towards women).
I can’t believe that even after seeing Rihanna’s face we’re still blaming the victim!
A woman whose name I won’t use wrote: “If you watch all of the 20/20 videos Rihanna denies that she did anything physical to provoke this attack. I believe her but only she and Chris know for sure and God knows.”
I responded to her:
Sister, I beg you: Do not fall for Demico’s sexist double standard of reasoning about violence against women.
His work claims to be against racism. He writes books for and about uplifting the black community. One of the issues in our community is police brutality and how unarmed black folk (often men) are hurt and killed by the police. The police ALWAYS argue that the man provoked the shooting or beating. That’s why when police brutality is caught on camera our community is relieved. Not because we doubt it was racism and police brutality. But because we know that living in a white supremacist system means that the cop not the black suspect will be given the benefit of the doubt due to his authority and race. “Two sides to every story” in cases of police brutality really means that in spite of what we know as a community about racism and our criminalization, without “proof” the cop is believed and that uppity nigger was just asking for it! So rallying behind the suspect and not the cop is a guttural response for a community plagued by centuries of white terrorism in one form or another.
But women of all colors are terrorized by men of all colors. And this too is due to centuries of an oppression known as patriarchy. However, in cases of what we term “intimate partner violence” or “domestic violence” our community generally sides with the man and not the woman.
Suddenly, in spite of what we know about violence, injustice and authority when it pertains to race, we deny when it pertains to gender and we won’t extend that knowing in defense of black women’s lives.
Suddenly we find ourselves saying a black woman provoked a man to beat her up and bite her face!
Because she MAY HAVE hit him first? Or because she ran off at the mouth?? WTF??
Even cops are asked to use only the force that is necessary to subdue a suspect that threatens him, but Demico wants us to believe that if Rihanna HIT Chris Brown she deserved to get her face beaten up AND bit?
Wow! My people, my people…..I’m truly scared for us!
Why don’t we support our women like we support our men?
I can’t believe that even after knowing the statistics on domestic violence, coupled with the reality of men’s violence in our personal lives, and the TONS of (not TWO) stories we hear about men beating and killing women, we’re letting a show like CHEATERS dictate some illusion that men are victims of abusive women! Even knowing the truth, which is right before our eyes and in our lives, how can we still deny that men, NOT WOMEN, have a problem with violence?
Our women are being maimed and murdered by men who claim to love them, and we’re allowing men like Demico to twist this reality into a men’s rights fantasy so the beat (and I do mean BEAT!) goes on!

Demico Booth spent nearly 13 years in prison. He should know better than anyone how violent men can be behind bars. He called me a “bitch” but someone no doubt made him their “bitch” in prison. You’d think that would make him more sensitive to the plight of women who are undeniably more vulnerable to both sexual and domestic violence in this society? But oh no. Who does Boothe come out swinging at with venom, name calling and stereotypes? Well, women of course! Women are always an easy target for men’s rage even black men locked up by white men and who are no doubt raped by other men.
But women are still the enemy.
Women didn’t land Boothe in prison nor did women hurt him in prison. Most men are not in prison for crimes against oppressed groups but for crimes against the oppressor classes!
Boothe invokes Steve McNiar, an isolated incident in which a star athlete was allegedly killed by his young mistress in a murder suicide. But how exactly does that represent women as a class killing men as a class? Does Boothe really think he can’t get intelligent people to believe that McNair’s mistress was some angry feminist who was trying to get back at men by killing him? We still call men beating women “domestic” or “intimate” violence even though this violence is anything but personal because it represents the historic systematic social domination of women in the home. But somehow for these bitter sexist men, a woman killing a man becomes a symbol of some matriarchal feminist conspiracy? Although most intelligent black folks would argue that the media is racist apparently for delusional misogynistic dudes like Boothe the media is involved in some matriarchal feminist conspiracy to saturate the news with outlandish stories of men terrorizing women with sexual or physical violence. And that just can’t be right! I mean, it’s not like we live in a misogynistic culture with centuries old legacies of sexually exploiting and socially oppressing women or anything. Sexism went away when Hillary ran for office just like racism went away when Barak Obama was elected so men killing women? That no longer represents anything bigger than an individual squabble with a woman who was probably asking for it anyways!
Just this year alone there were stories about men killing their families, men killing their wives and girlfriends, men killing individual women and men killing women in mass numbers.
Women are targeted by men because they are women and we live in a patriarchal culture.
Black people are targeted by white people because they are black and we live in a system of white supremacy.
In no way are men systematically targeted for murder, rape and assault by women.
That’s just a Men’s Rights Activist Fairy Tale.
Black people would see right through a white person waving one or two or three incidents of a black person targeting a white person for assault as proof that their legacy of systematic racist terrorism on us can ever equal a few incidents in which they were victimized.
Even with Boothe’s alleged concern for issues regarding the criminal justice system and the black community, look how easy it was for him to go off on a black woman and verbally assault her because she dared to challenge him?
Sexist verbal assaults against women who men feel the need to put in their place are sure signs that a man is also very capable of physical violence.
I normally don’t comment on other peoples Status Updates on Facebook even if they are offensive. The most I’ll do is say something sarcastic and keep it moving or in extreme cases remove them as a friend. But something about Boothe’s tone struck me as so dangerous and bitter towards women behind a guise of wanting to spark a real dialog that I felt compelled to challenge him. In addition none of the other women who posted in the discussion were doing that.
Here’s a comment from one of Boothe’s female Facebook friends that I’ll keep anonymous and only refer to as Femmebot #1 who co-signs his misogyny in the worst way possible. She wrote:
I must agree to everything that you have said. But as a woman a man or anyone will only do what you allow them to do. And YES we(woman) will push men to that point. But she should have been woman enough to let it go and move on and not put him out there like she did. She had to have done or said something to prevoke it. I know women!!! And men can be abused as well but they have to much pride to tell there story’s… It’s some evil people out here in this world when will it ever STOP!!!!!
Another woman who I’ll call Femmebot #2 commented:
That is so, there are two sides to every story… I know women can be very evil..we can come out swinging some heavy yet hurting words and continue until we get a reaction, but that is still not a reason for total physical abuse, black eyes, broken fingers, etc. Of course if we get hit, we are going to do what we can to protect ourselves, but ABUSE for words is WEAK!!!
Then Femmebot #1 responded to her:
@ T you are so right, But some woman don’t just talk they start swinging first and when the man don’t hit them back they keep coming toward them, and at that point what else can he do. In that case that doesn’t make him Weak he’s also protecting his self. There is two sides to every story!!!!
So no women challenging Boothe without also blaming the victim for provoking men’s violence and peddling that nonsense that there are two sides to every story even when a woman has pictures of a beaten and bitten face!
After reading Boothe’s comments it’s obvious that his grip with women is bigger than what happened between Chris Brown and Rihanna. It became clear to me that he was positioning men as the victim of women’s control so that when they do beat us up they are fighting back to reclaim their authority which seems justifiable because as Booth reminded his unquestioning audience:
“Everyone knows that women can play some very mean games.”
He continues:
“And also, women are catered to in many ways that men are not catered to in society, but no one complains about that….”
Except delusional men’s rights trolls like him of course!
There are millions of women who are actually LIVING off of child support payments from men that they never really wanted for the right reasons anyway. Just watch the “Housewives” series and see that for yourself all day everyday. Who gets the big wedding ring and Valentine’s Day gifts and the ability to financially live off of a man without societal scutiny when a man who does that is called a player or a pimp or something? So really, the double standard that women face is somewhat balanced by how men and society caters to women.
He concedes to a double standard that to some degree yes, men oppress women but look at all the perks women get? So what if we knock you around a bit! Women get cards, flowers and diamonds! So who is the real victim here? Men of course! He proclaims:
There are millions of women who are actually LIVING off of child support payments from men that they never really wanted for the right reasons anyway.
Millions of women living off child support? Really now? Motherhood is still the number one indicator of poverty for women. So what alternate universe is Mr. Boothe living in? Surely not the reality of family life in the black community which is dominated by female headed households, the majority of which I doubt receive much in form of child support from the men that abandon them. Does he really expect us to believe that all these single mothers in the black community are raising kids and living in the lap of luxury?
Now let’s another thing straight: when men claim they have the right to beat up a woman (because that’s what Chris Brown did and that’s what many misogynistic men and women with internalized sexism believe) this is not about men feeling that their safety is threatened. No, it’s about men feeling that their AUTHORITY is being threatened! In the same way that cops will use excessive force against a suspect or even racially profile and criminalize black people who won’t bow to their authority, men will beat up women if we strike them or talk back because they want to reinforce their power over us. It’s that simple. It’s not because even unarmed women pose some imminent danger to men. No, if you hear these apologists for domestic violence tell it she was asking for it by having the gall to stand up to a man to think that she could take on a man. Well, he’ll show her!
Men want permission to hit women and whether that permission is our “lip” or our “hand” they will stop at nothing to have it both ways: to have women perceived as weaker than most men but with giant mouths and smaller but dangerous hands that are a threat to them deserving of a beat down they’d give a man their own size!
This justification would never fly with most conscious black folks if a suspect was an unarmed black male and a cop beat or killed them but it does make sense if the victim is an unarmed woman against a man.
But then again, that’s how patriarchy works.
Men are invested in reading women as a threat to them physically. Our bodies are a threat if we are sexy. Our bodies are a threat if we dare to think we are strong enough to take them on. Our bodies are feared for their strength and the control and domination of our bodies are fundamental to the upholding patriarchy.
If a man feels threatened by a woman, why is it too much to ask that he walk away? Or if she hits him, why don’t we expect men to do what we asks cops to do — subdue an unarmed suspect without hurting them? No, instead we try to justify a man responding to a woman’s hit by giving her a beat down.
In the black community we’ve all heard the phrase, “FIGHTING like Ike and Tina,” even though Ike BEAT Tina. It was not a fight between equals. If Tina refused to just lay there and take it, how did that suddenly make it a fight? No, it’s still a woman defending herself against a man. It’s still male violence against a woman. But if the woman is black, we see her as a bully — overbearing, and more masculine than a white woman — so she’s ultimately deserving of a beat down by a male.
I’m convinced that the reason black women will always be more vulnerable to rape and domestic violence is because everyone, including black men, believes that we are more masculine, aggressive and dangerous than white women therefore WE CAN’T BE BEATEN ONLY FOUGHT. And WE CAN”T BE RAPED. ONLY FUCKED.
There is no shame on a black man serving time in jail in this country. But there should be shame and consequences for a man justifying in any way the beating of women. And there should be shame and consequences for calling a woman a bitch when she tries to hold him accountable to black women.
Demico Boothe went to prison for fraud. And, no doubt, like many ex-cons turned prophets before him (Eldridge Cleaver anyone?), “black consciousness” is just his latest hustle. His first fraud was against the U.S. government, which might be admirable, but we used to have a name for this game he’s now running against our people. Because if we really took the disrespect and undervaluing of black women’s lives seriously, a black man calling a sister a bitch and excusing violence against women would automatically make that “brother” an Uncle Tom in the eyes of our community
And as expected this encounter inspired a series of status updates:
Celie’s Revenge DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY most black men would NEVER try to justify the use of “excessive force” against a black man by a cop, even if the cop felt threatened, and the suspect was hurt — YET these same black men will still argue that a black woman, Rihanna, provoked Chris Brown into BEATING HER UP and BITING HER FACE?
Celie’s Revenge says that when cops use excessive force against black men, we call it an abuse of their authority, racism and the criminalization of black males. But when men beat women we JUSTIFY THE ABUSE OF THEIR AUTHORITY. She must have done something to provoke him, like talking too much. A cop shooting an unarmed suspect is wrong even
Celie’s Revenge loves how black men will swear up and down that they don’t have male privilege. Their argument being that they can’t really enjoy the fruits of being born with a penis in a patriarchy because of racism. But just let a woman challenge them on their sexism? Suddenly we are crazy, stupid, and bitches.
Celie’s Revenge says black men will deny their male privilege but will not hesitate to invoke misogynistic labels to silence women such as “bitch,” “crazy,” and “stupid” in the same way that liberal or poor whites will deny being racist, or deny benefitting from being white until they want black people to shut up. Then we are called, and treated like, niggers!
Celie’s Revenge has absolutely no problem exposing misogynistic dudes on her blog. She will name and quote them. There is too much silence and hypocrisy in The Left regarding how conscious men publicly profess to view and treat women, which are as their equals, versus how they really treat us privately if we challenge their authority and sexism!
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